God. This is not a good time to be doing what I'm doing now.
I have a week off for Spring Break which I'm suppose to spend studying but the only I've done for 3 days is watch Super Junior stuff on Youtube and eat. I'm getting tired of complaining about not studying but this is a new phenomena. Never in my entire high school career have I *not* wanted to study. I should rephrase that. I WANT to study, I just can't bring myself to. I started studying for AP Chem around 9:30~10 and quite about 15 minutes ago. I absolutely cannot get that stuff. Once the damn book started contradicting itself, I was done. I'm sorry but 1 = 1 no matter what they say. Who even writes this test? It's ridiculous (so is AP Eng). Am Hist seems really easy this year. World was not. T.T I guess it's perspective?
-_- Like half an hour of my "studying" was drawing little comics in the book.
Yes! Rain's World just finished downloading. Not like my computer can handle it though. T.T The hardrive is WAY too overloaded. I know this and I still keep downloading things. I've even started downloading PVs. At some point I'm gonna have to delete like 90% of the stuff on here. I'll probably host the documents on some site like wordpress or something. Or maybe a separate Livejournal. (Tablo's so cute!) Then I can put my 500+ pictures on Photobucket and delete them. I'm afraid of losing them because I have a bad memory and if I don't have those pics to remind me of my best friend's bday or my last date with my friend David, then I won't remember them. I'll have to take a chance with putting them on PB. They're probably safer there than they are on my hardrive. Problem is, that's gonna be a long, boring, extensive process...
I've kinda more or less decided a few minutes ago that I'm not gonna study this week. It's a really risky decision but if it saves me in the long run it'll be worth it. The logic is as follows: I'm really stressed right now due to my "life circumstances" and school in general and I've waited whilest nearly drowning for this break. I'm gonna snap if I don't take time off of school. This is my last break for this year. If I don't replenish whatever it is that's made me study 12 hours a day for the past three years, I swear I'm gonna go crazy. I'll go to school all pissed and worn out, ready to kill someone. Thus, for the safety of all concerned (and because I'm about to break) I'm not going to study this week. Of course, when I *want* to review essay formats or significant events of the 19th Century, I will. But the only mandatory work is my homework from my "regular" life: a comprehensive unit paper for Sociology and an essay for Anthropology.
It's kinda funny because I don't focus on "school" at all. At my old school I barely got homework, it was enough to stay alive in the class itself. Almost all grades were based on tests alone (except math; I've never met a math teacher in my entire life that didn't believe in giving substantial amounts of homework everday). Everything was "study for this standardized test" or "this AP exam". Because of that, I never study for school because I don't have to. Straight As was good enough for me before; I didn't need a 99 in everything. As long as it wasn't a 90 (except for in History where it's almost impossible to get a above a 90) I was good. Then I transfer here and the GPA isn't as (how should I say this?)... "inflated". I can't just get 93s and have a perfect GPA. I actually have to get a 95 or better in every class to make the highest honor list. ^^ To be honest, I like that but just not right now. I'm drowning in exams this year and can't really afford to focus my attention on school. They're completely separate matters and completely separate lives (for me). I have a 95 and above in every class except Anthro and Am Hist, both taught by clemons. I have a 91 in one and a 93, I think, in the other. T.T I don't know how he grades essays yet so I always get a 90-95 on those. He says that's good since he never gives like 98s but that's not gonna cut it for me. I got an 86 on his last Anthro test and THAT was a wake up call for me. I can't blow off a test until the day of in that class. I'll have to study at least the night before to get a 95+. That really brought me down emotionally so I made a list of people and concepts I should know, the night before for the upcoming Am Hist test. Then, in English I looked over it one and a half times (Eng is 1st period, Hist is 2nd) and I scored a 96. I was so freakin happy. He told me in 7th period Anthro and that he was happy for me. He's so sweet. It totally made my day. Thank god there was no essay. I'm gonna ask him on Mon what criteria he uses for essays.
Thank god I don't have to do much in Trig and Chem to do well. I haven't done my homework in Trig for weeks since I lost my calculator. I can't afford to buy another one so I've just been doing a couple of questions without doing the math. I BS the Chem homework too. That's not really good because it's all new material for me but Chem and Trig are two of the classes I *have* to brush off because I can't afford to spend anymore time on them. Selective negligence, if you will. I think any smart student would do well to have some sort of system like that. And I don't mean like Valedictorian smart. I'm talking about students who are determined to do well in school. This may be extremely naive but I am talking from experience, which may not say much. I think one Brown student put it better than have... I'll try to find that.
It's exactly because of that system that I'm where I am today. You've got to know how to manipulate school around you're schedule and not in the "party all night" sense. If you can selective negligence in control you'll have no problem get straight As or whatever else you want. Math teacher guy doesn't check the homework even though he assigns it everyday. If given the opportunity I do it but most of the time I can't so I don't. Like I said, I'll do a couple when it gets close to exam time (since exams are the only thing we're graded on) and do a few from the review he gives us if he gives us one. As long as you know how to do it nothing else matters. Now, I absolutely do NOT condone not doing you're homework because you wanted to go out with friends or because you didn't feel like it. (When did this turn into a statement of my policy?)
You're sacrificing practice you don't need in math to have more time to study for some stupid subject you need time for AP Chem in my case.
You've got to use the system right or it'll ruin you. For instance, I got my first 100% in Trig on a really complicated test last week. MY problem is that, even though there's nothing I don't understand in every math I've taken so far, I mess up with little things that add up. I'll forget an exponent here or I'll put sin in for cos there. To get the grade you want, you have to evaluate yourself and figure out how you're going to overcome a problem you're having. I didn't do ANY of the homework for that test and did well because I know how to do it and I've evaluated myself enough to know what I'm doing wrong.
I highly recommend doing that, but again, only if you're going to use right. ^^
Wow, that was a bit unexpected. I'm gonna wrap this up because I'm hungry and I want to watch a movie. Sometime I hope to talk about survival in school in general (lord knows I've just barely kept my head above the water).
To end, I just wanna mention Rain's movie coming out soon: Speed Racer. I'm gonna go watch it if I can just because he's in it. And, yesterday, I discovered Ivy's Advent Children-esqe "Sonata of Temptation" and Lee Sooyoung's "Short Hair". Great songs. It's funny how many things I like are connected, but I'll talk about that some other time (?). On a closing note, Lee Junki is featured in one of Lee Sooyoung's PVs (can't remember which one) and he looks A M A Z I N G. They're doing kendou and I kept thinking how much I miss kendou but what a burden it was to me. ^^ Believe me, if LEE JUNKI was in my kendou class, I'd NEVER leave kendou.
That's all for now. Take care!
stressed
exanimate