Well, I'm really happy right now. 

About two hours ago I got home from hanging out with Zane, this guy in my class. I had a lot of fun. All day yesterday I was worried it was gonna be bad but I ended up gaining a new friend. When he asked he on Thursday to hang out over break (have I told you this story?), I was so surprised. To be honest I didn't think he was serious. But, he was and it was really great. The original plan was that I'd go over to his house and we'd play games and just hang out. This is gonna sound stupid but I was really afraid that this was gonna be some trick and he and my entire English class were gonna throw eggs at me and put it on Youtube. -_-; It's so stupid but I was seriously worrying about this. I could see no other reason for someone like him to want to hang out with someone like me. I called Lupy (my best friend) and talked to Titi about it and both made me feel better. Titi (my aunt, in case you didn't know) suggested that instead of going to his house we could go downtown and look at all the shops and grab some pizza and ice cream. Since that was a genius plan I called him and asked him if that was okay. Thank god it was, because otherwise I'd have died. I would have figured out after a little bit that he's not that kind of guy but I'm happy with how things went. 

We ended up not eating pizza and just walking around. We didn't even go into any shops. But that was okay. Just talking was fine. Sometimes I felt stupid but I'm very glad I got to know him. Yesterday, I saw him and Ian and Martin walking around downtown and I ducked. I was in the car with my aunt, coming home from the gym and I hid as much as possible. ^^ I told Zane that. I'm glad he thought it was funny cause he could have taken it the wrong way. 

I told him a bit about mom and about my old school and all this stuff. I tried not to be weird or talk about myself too much. I learned a great deal about him too (not as much as I'd like but there will always be time for that [and I saw that in the non-naive connotation]). Next time I'm gonna go to his house. He's nice so I'm sure I don't have to be worried about him thinking I was dumb. 

-_- I'm kinda rambling now. I guess I'll describe Zane a little bit. This may fail but here goes:

He's tall and really smart. Like the kind of smart that makes really funny connections between two things you'd never even normally think of (like 1st period English and social darwinism). He's Jewish but doesn't really believe in God. He thinks he's republican but isn't conservative. He listens to old rock (60s) and classical music, is a hardcore gamer (D&D,RPGs), and is a hardcore scifi/fantasy lover.

He's pretty complicated. I'm just happy he likes me too. I don't know why, I'm so boring. But I guess friends like you anyway. I'm also really happy that he liked the CD I made him. Since I was going over to his house I figured I'd make him a sample CD of all the different types of East Asian music I know of. I put rap, rock, and pop on there. I LOVE every song so I really like the CD too. I told him on the way to my house (he walked me home) that I'd made him a CD and it took me 2 and a half hours because most of the songs I thought represent Asian music I had to find and download. T.T Mix CDs are fun but not when it takes that much effort. I showed him my room and gave him the CD in this little case. On the front I'd written "Representing East Asia" in English and Japanese. When he opened it and looked, a really pretty smile came on this face and the way he said "You made this for me?" made me so happy it was WORTH those 2.5 hours. I hope he likes it. He's gonna give me some music in return. Here's what was on it:

Over the Rainbow by Trax (Krock)
Rokkuguh by Super Junior (Kpop)
Smile Ichiban Ii Onna by An Cafe (Oshare kei)
Agitated Screams of Maggots by Dir en Grey (J'metal')
Rose of Pain by X Japan (Jrock)
Hi no Hikari Sae Todokanai Basho de by Miyavi (Jrock)
Subarashikikana, Kono Sekai -What a Wonderful World- by Miyavi (Jrock)
Weeeek by NewS (Jpop)
U by Super Junior M (Cpop)
Sonata of Temptation by Ivy (Kpop)
I'm Coming (Feat. Tablo) by Bi/Rain (KR&B)
Drifting by Jay Chou (CR&B)
Sakurasake by Arashi (Jpop)
Ai Senshi by Gackt (Jrock)
Beast of Blood by Malice Mizer (Jrock)
track 14 (bonus track) on album Gauze by Dir en Grey (Jrock)

It was really hard to limit it down to these few songs. For instance, I wanted to include "Last Song" and "Yami no Shuen", at least, for Gackt because they're fantastic songs. But, the point of the CD was to introduce different types of Asian music and if I kept those two songs I'd have to get rid of track 14 of Diru and "Smile Ichiban Ii Onna" for An Cafe. While I think "Last Song" and "Yami no Shuen" are important for understanding Japanese music, I can't kick out vital songs representing 90s Visual kei and Oshare kei. So, after much deliberation, I decided to keep Ai Senshi even though it's not originally Gackt's song because it felt right. ^^ I'm a being largely based on feelings so even though I'm logical I go with what my heart feels (at least some of the time). There were, of course, certain songs I included just because I love that song. I wanted to get the bands/artists that represent different sects, so that was set in stone, but the song I chose had one major criteria: it had to represent the style of that band/artist. A lot of the time there were multiple songs so in those cases I chose which ones I liked best. "Rokkuguh", "Over the Rainbow", "Sakurasake", and "Beast of Blood" were those songs.

My sister chose track 14 for Dir en Grey. I've got to say, Dir en Grey was a little hard to chose. I definitely wanted a slower, earlier song by Diru and a heavy metal, vulgar song from the recent Diru stuff. I knew "Agitated" had to be it but "Clever Sleazoid" was a close second. My sister wanted "Sleazoid" but it wasn't as representative in my mind (especially since its an older song). She got to choose the second Diru song though. I was gonna pick Yokan or one of the beginning tracks on Gauze but I think her choice was good. For the rest I tried to stick to new stuff. "Sonata of Temptation" and "I'm Coming" are pretty much the only songs I even know for Ivy and Bi/Rain, who I think are important in understanding Korean pop and R&B. Now that I think about it, Wonder Girls' "Tell Me" would have been perfect too. 


So today was significant for me because it was the first time I'd ever gone out by myself. I always go out with my friends with Lisi, who's one of my closest friends. I love having my sis around. But, it also felt really nice to just go by myself. I feel bad, guilty even. If I were here I'd feel abandoned and sad and insecure. But she took it well (externally at least). And she was so excited about the whole thing. The way she looked during History after I told her what Zane said, it was so cute. God, I feel horrible. I don't want to bring it up to her though because 1) it's something that needs to happen and 2) I'd probably cry and make her feel worse. T.T Lisi, since I can't tell you, I'm really sorry and I hope you're okay. Sarang hae.

-_- I'm gonna go now. I think I'm hungry...  Score 1 for independence...